Price of coal affecting Santa

Click on picture to see Santa’s email.

Over the past year the price of coal has increased by a greater percentage than that of gold. This is due to several factors some of which are related to a decrease in production in some arias and an overall increase in demand. This leads me to believe that it could be a distinct possibility that Santa may have to cut back on the amount of coal he doles out to bad children. Moving some of the children from the naughty list to the good list is a possible option, also decreasing the size of coal that the naughty children get in their stockings could also be another way of minimizing costs in this time of economic uncertainty.
Graphs and charts can be found at:

http://www.eia.doe.gov/cneaf/coal/page/coalnews/coalmar.html

A note from Paulo Coelho (Author The Alchemist)

Recently I emailed Paulo Coelho, to tell him that the first book I managed to complete as a dyslexic mess was The Alchemist. I also asked him about the rights to the screen play for the book. Here is his response, we boys SON!

Dear…,

Thank you for your kind email. It's very important to know what the reader feels towards my work. I've got great respect for your opinion and I'm grateful for that. I would like to inform you that TV and movie rights to the "The Alchemist" were sold in perpetuity to Warner Brothers.Thank you for your interest.

May love always be your guide in every moment of your life

Paulo Coelho

Below is a short Christmas story that my favourite author, Paulo Coelho recently wrote, please enjoy.

The music coming from the house


On Christmas Eve, the king invited the prime minister to join him for their usual walk together. He enjoyed seeing the decorations in the streets, but since he didn’t want his subjects to spend too much money on these just to please him, the two men always disguised themselves as traders from some far distant land.
They walked through the centre of the city, admiring the lights, the Christmas trees, the candles burning on the steps of the houses, the stalls selling gifts, and the men, women and children hurrying off to celebrate a family Christmas around a table laden with food.
On the way back, they passed through a poorer area, where the atmosphere was quite different. There were no lights, no candles, no delicious smells of food about to be served. There was hardly a soul in the street, and, as he did every year, the king remarked to the prime minister that he really must pay more attention to the poor in his kingdom. The prime minister nodded, knowing that the matter would soon be forgotten again, buried beneath the day-to-day bureaucracy of budgets to be approved and discussions with foreign dignitaries.
Suddenly, they heard music coming from one of the poorest houses. The hut was so ramshackle and the rotten wooden timbers so full of cracks, that they were able to peer through and see what was happening inside. And what they saw was utterly absurd: an old man in a wheelchair apparently crying, a shaven-headed young woman dancing, and a young man with sad eyes shaking a tambourine and singing a folk song.
‘I’m going to find out what they’re up to,’ said the king.
He knocked. The music stopped, and the young man came to the door.
‘We are merchants in search of a place to sleep. We heard the music, saw that you were still awake, and wondered if we could spend the night here.’
‘You can find shelter in a hotel in the city. We, alas, cannot help you. Despite the music, this house is full of sadness and suffering.’
‘And may we know why?’
‘It’s all because of me.’ It was the old man in the wheelchair who spoke. ‘I’ve spent my life teaching my son calligraphy, so that he could one day get a job as a palace scribe. But the years have passed and no post has ever come up. And then, last night, I had a stupid dream: an angel appeared to me and asked me to buy a silver goblet because, the angel said, the king would be coming to visit me. He would drink from the goblet and give my son a job.
‘The angel was so persuasive that I decided to do as he said. Since we have no money, my daughter-in-law went to the market this morning to sell her hair so that we could buy that goblet over there. The two of them are doing their best to get me in the Christmas spirit by singing and dancing, but it’s no use.’
The king saw the silver goblet, asked to be given a little water to quench his thirst and, before leaving, said to the family:
‘Do you know, we were talking to the prime minister only today, and he told us that an opening for a palace scribe would be announced next week.’
The old man nodded, not really believing what he was hearing, and bade farewell to the strangers. The following morning, however, a royal proclamation was read out in all the city streets; a new scribe was needed at court. On the appointed day, the audience room at the palace was packed with people eager to compete for that much-sought-after post. The prime minister entered and asked everyone there to prepare their paper and pens:
‘Here is the subject of the composition: Why is an old man weeping, a shaven-headed woman dancing, and a sad young man singing?’
A murmur of disbelief went round the room. No one knew how to tell such a story, apart, that is, from the shabbily dressed young man sitting in one corner, who smiled broadly and began to write.

Based on an Indian story.


Translated from the Portuguese by Margaret Jull Costa

Does income changes the value of ass?

http://www.economist.com/blogs/freeexchange by Prince & Asso

Posted by:
Economist.com NEW YORK

"TIMES are tough for the kept woman. Today, the Wealth Report cites a survey of the very wealthy who engage in long-term romantic affairs. The current economic conditions have caused 82% of the men surveyed to cut back on allowances and gifts to their mistresses, but more than half of the women surveyed plan to increase financial perks for their lovers. The evidence suggests men see their lovers as normal goods and women see theirs as inferior goods.
Or it could mean that in these trying times people seek comfort.
Susan Shapiro Barash, who teaches gender studies at Marymount Manhattan College and wrote “Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets,” about why women lie, said women value their lovers more than men in a time of economic trouble. “For the women, lovers matter more than ever now because the rest of life is so dreary,” she said. “For the men, they’re just cutting across the board.”
Ms. Barash added that women may value their lovers more today because their husbands are so miserable. “If your husband lost his job on Wall Street and he’s miserable, you need the escape,” she says.
Does that mean men can do without during these times of stress? The survey found that lover-spending declines are more likely the longer the relationship tenure. The high-end prostitution industry also reports spikes in demand. Perhaps in these tough times the men surveyed are prone to spend more of their now limited income on newer rather than longer-term lovers. Or the men think their longer-term lovers will stick with them, even with less in the way of diamonds and private jet rides."

Women and men very greatly in quality and now quantity thanks to obesity, but maybe with belts tightening in this time of stagflation, that may now be a thing of the past... or not. Both sexes have jugs of spoiled milk and bottles of the finest 1787 Chateau d'Yquem wine. We all want wine but it’s so fken hard to find a good bottle that keeps well. And this great imbalance allows companies such as Prince & Asso to fritter their money away on studies such as this.

Why the Government can't just print money

Why the Government can't just print and pump

When pumping money back into the market the Federal Reserve can’t just print this money, and hand it out to anyone. If everyone was given half a million dollars, this would still leave everyone in the same position as they were in before. If I am selling the greatest hits of The Vanilla Ice and everyone has an increase in disposable income, I'm going to charge more for those magical beats because everyone can afford to pay. This increase in disposable income, due the half million dollars everyone got, would result in prices increasing across the board to reflect the new devalued buying power of the dollar. Furthermore, foreign investors would vanish since their holdings of your currency all of a sudden do not have the buying power that they did yesterday. If no one wants to buy your country's currency the money supply increases even more because holders of your currency want to get rid of it in fear of its further devaluation. When supply is greater than demand the market value has to readjust so as to come down to meet the demand. Since the US$ has not been backed by gold since August 15, 1971, the dollar is only worth something because someone else values it, if no one wants dollars because they feel that it will be worth less tomorrow than today, the dollar will not have anyone willing to pay today's market value for it but the anticipated decreased future value, this leads to inflation which leads to hyper inflation which leads to fucked and having a President like Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe and 100,000% annual inflation, where your currency has an expiration date on it not a serial number, and a loaf of bread that cost 10 million Z$ at 9am in the morning and cost 10.1 million Z$ at 6pm in the very same day. So if some self proclaimed academic tree hugging anti globalization gypsy says "why don't the government just print money instead of stealing our taxes," slap them, and silent dead stair, maybe some heavy breathing until they say, "I'll get my coat".
Below is a link that explains money creation in greater depth http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monetary_policy_of_the_USA#Money_creation

Where do those homeless signs come from?!!

Have you ever noticed the signs that the happy homeless of NYC hold all look like they have been written by the same person? They seem to have the same Aral font and caricatures size. Makes me get to wondering, maybe there is quite a lucrative business to be had selling signs to beggars. You can personalize them; have them written in different tones desperate, funny, the traditional trying to get somewhere, and the old family favorite "I'm a drunk". The cost of raw materials would be relatively low, just need a Sharpy and boxes. Generating revenue: Ignoring the fact that the cost of designing a sign to a beggar is almost nothing, I still want to explore the possibility of soup kitchens providing signs. What would be the best way to charge, I would suspect an upfront fee would be the optimal way, but there also could be some benefit derived by looking into not charging a lump sum at the front end but taking a percentage of the daily take. However, off the top of my head I can't think of an efficient way to collect on those takings at the end of each day, maybe you could attaché an RFID tags to the individual so as they can be tracked, but then there would be the problem of disincentives occurring for them to fully disclose the daily take. Maybe there could be an add function to the RFID tags where there is the ability to electrocute the individual if it is felt that they are lying about the day’s revenue generation.

PS: Nothing I have said here is a good idea! Please do not be a dick and take this post seriously and act on the suggestions, or show your token offensiveness and get upset with its content because you feel you have the obligation to fight against something that is obviously written for entrainment and a joke. .

CraigsList – Gold Digger

I have no idea where this came from it was emailed to me sometime last year, whoever wrote it BRILLLLIENT! (scouser)

Supposedly, a woman posted the following personal ad on Craigslist:

What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25-year-old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least [a] half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a businessman who makes average around 200 - 250K. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000K won’t get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms.
- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings.
- Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the Upper East Side so plain? I’ve seen really “plain Jane” boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the East Village. What’s the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows — lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.
Please hold your insults — I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them — in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

The response she got was as follows:

Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said, here’s how I see it:
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party, and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub — your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity … in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain: you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35, stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold … hence the rub … marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following: if my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe, if you are as gorgeous as you say you are, that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout. By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Christian the Lion

This Is supper feel good story about an orphan lion that get's brought up by humans then released in the wild. Years later they return to see him in the wild where he is the head of a pride and he remembers them -tears-

Fucked

Zimbabwe's meltdown in figures

Inflation
Inflation reached 231 million percent a year in July, the latest month for which a figure has been announced. Economists think it is now much higher and say prices are doubling daily.

GDP
Gross domestic product has fallen every year since 2000, down 10.4 percent in 2003 alone. The IMF estimated that the economy shrank 6.1 percent in 2007.Per capita GDP was estimated at $200 in 2007, from nearer $900 in 1990. Zimbabwe has the world's fastest shrinking economy for a country not at war, according to the World Bank.

Income
An estimated 83 percent of the population was living on below $2 a day by 2005. Since then, the situation has only worsened.

Unemployment
Unemployment is estimated at over 90 percent. Well over 3 million Zimbabweans are thought to have fled, mostly to South Africa, in search of work and food.

Life expectancy
Average life expectancy fell from 63 years in 1990 to 40.9 years in 2005, according to UN figures. The mortality rate for children under five rose to 132 deaths per 1,000 in 2005 from 76 deaths in 1990.

Cholera
The official death toll from a cholera epidemic since August is at least 565 with over 12,500 infected, according to the UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs in Zimbabwe.

(Source: Reuters)

You can read the full article at:

http://www.radionetherlands.nl/currentaffairs/region/africa/081203-zimbabwe-cholera